Whenever someone we know leaves this life, we feel grief. It is difficult to remember at such times that passing is a natural step in our existence as immortal spiritual beings. The human part of us, the body-centered ego, clings to this existence as if it were the only existence we will ever have. Because it cannot see beyond the point at which we separate ourselves from the physical body, it fears death and mourns the loss of others who have passed on as if they had completely ceased to exist.
Poets and seers may describe physical death as discarding a worn garment, but that metaphor is not always helpful to those of us left behind who struggle to accept the immediacy of the inevitable. We know that life is temporary, yet we submerge that knowledge in the busyness of daily existence. Aware in our moments of full consciousness that change is constant - that everything changes in every instant - we nevertheless attach our happiness, our hopes, our very sense of self to people and things as if they will be with us unchanged forever. When faced with the rupture of these attachments, we feel as if a part of ourselves has been ripped away.
There is a risk that we may succumb to ego's inevitable attempts to take advantage of our pain for its own purposes. Ego will do what it can to magnify that pain by trying to focus our attention on suffering and loss. It will raise questions about how we will survive without the love, comfort, and security that the physical presence of a loved one provided. It will dwell on the past and make dire predictions for the future in order to increase our suffering in the present.
There is no way to escape feeling the pain of separation, and it would be a mistake to try to do so. (My sister-in-law, Ann Dubes, has written a book entitled "Give Yourself Permission to Grieve".) Denying the pain simply buries it under layers of emotional scar tissue that will eventually need to be dealt with before the wound can fully heal. But we must be mindful also that ego will try to leverage our grief into an obsession. It is not necessary to fight back against this attack; it is enough to be aware that it will come, and that it is not truly a part of our higher self. That mindfulness will enable us to brush ego aside as we deal with the genuine damage that has been done to our world.
When
the immediate shock of loss has passed, the opportunity for
reflection may arise. The passing of a friend or loved one is a reminder
that we, too, will be on this Earth in this form for only a
limited time. Other reminders of this same truth surround us - at least
those of us who look into a mirror from time to time - but it is in our
human nature to ignore this aspect of reality until the departure of a
beloved soul provides a slap in the face. At this
time, we may ponder the meaning of life; examine the uses we are making
of our own window of opportunity as spiritual beings sharing a physical
existence; or prepare ourselves emotionally and spiritually for our own
passing to come.
Eventually, perhaps with the aid of study and meditation, we may take comfort in the realization that physical death is a transition rather than a termination. The Universe is an infinite, living, energetic tapestry extending throughout time and space. What we perceive as our separate existence is just a thread woven into that tapestry; now visible, now submerged, but continuous and never-ending. We cross the threads of others' existence again and again within the fabric of the whole. Whomever we meet in the here and now, is also with us in an infinite number of other heres and nows within the infinite Now.
Our highest purpose is not to cling to what we currently perceive as our place in the tapestry, but to be aware of and participate in the flow of Life that is the energetic whole. When we are aware that all of us - all fragments of existence throughout all dimensions - are perpetually engaged in the process of creating a harmonious, loving Universe, then we can accept our part in that harmony. Acceptance can help bring full awareness of our continuous Oneness with all other souls, and of the continuity of our own Selves through the transitions that connect us to other states of being through eternity. In this awareness, we can find peace.
Read more:
