Ego is not the self

It is essential to accept that the ego is not the self. Only the self can realize this. Therefore, this realization is not possible until the self awakes. As long as the individual remains in the ego-controlled unconscious state, the self cannot be realized. This is the conundrum -- self must be realized in order to become conscious,  but how can the self struggle to escape the grip of ego while the individual is unconscious? The answer must be that self is already realized on some subconscious level, and that it can gain a toehold in conscious awareness that allows it to overcome the restraints of ego and manifest itself in individual awareness. Once the individual is aware of the existence of the genuine self and can compare it to the hollow manifestations of ego, there is no possibility of choosing the path of ego and returning to the unconscious state. While self may not be immediately dominant, it must eventually become so. The process can be encouraged by  the practices of mindfulness, compassion, and meditative surrender. As one internalizes these practices, awareness grows that they are the only sources of bliss and inner peace. The empty satisfaction attained by gratifying ego is revealed as a fraud. The  individual will turn more and more to the blessings of spiritual practice and away from worldliness. In this way positive karma evolves. 

INNER PEACE

The Teacher listened patiently to a woman while she poured out her troubles to him. She described a difficult situation with a certain family member about which she was deeply troubled, but which she felt helpless to change.

The Teacher said to the woman, "I see you are agitated about your relationship with this person. His behavior troubles you and you have no power to change it. You can achieve inner peace despite this situation. However, doing so will require an important change in the way you perceive yourself and the way you interact with the world. This may be difficult, but it is the only way to escape the controlling web of negative emotions in which you are entangled. Let me explain why this change is necessary."

"The first thing I want you to do is to take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and then release it slowly. Focus on the sensation of air flowing into your nostrils, filling your lungs, and then escaping through your nose or mouth. Let this absorb all of your attention. If thoughts of your family situation or any other problem come to you, set them aside temporarily as you allow your breath to become the center of your awareness. Continue this breathing exercise until you feel that you have calmed yourself and re-established control over your attention."

"Now, expand your awareness to the rest of your body. If there are places in your body where the muscles are tense, try to relax those muscles and allow your awareness to flow through them in a calming fashion. Focus particularly on the muscles of your face, jaw, and neck; shoulders; and lower back. Draw a relaxing breath and allow any strain or tension that you find in your body to be expelled with the exhalation."

"In this way, you will establish that it is you, and not your problems, that are in control of your self and your attention. Having done so, it will be possible for you to examine your life situation with greater objectivity. You can become aware of the source of your emotional anguish, which is the first and most important step toward escaping it."

"Consider this: no problem exists outside yourself. The actions of others or the existence of certain circumstances may create a situation, but that situation does not become a problem until you label it as such. It is your mind that observes a particular situation and decides that it represents a problem. What you perceive as a problem, others may not. So, for example, the behavior of your family member is a situation, but it does not create a problem for you until your mind observes the situation and is disturbed by it. It is that disturbance that causes the mind to label the situation a problem."

"What is the source of that disturbance? Most likely, it is your attachment to the notion that your family member must behave in a particular way in order for you to be happy. In other words, you have chosen to make your happiness hostage to the behavior of other persons. This may be because you feel that others must treat you with a certain amount of love, consideration, or respect; or because you are genuinely concerned that they may harm themselves or others. Either way, you can regain your ability to be happy by reclaiming control over your happiness independent of the actions of others. You can view the actions and life situations of family members with concern, any may even act compassionately to help minimize the damage that they do to themselves and others if you believe it is necessary to do so. But your actions will be more effective if carried out from a base sense of happiness and well-being that has its foundation within your own awareness and is not dependent upon any other person."

"It may surprise you to know that your awareness includes more than one sentient intelligence. Much of your day-to-day activity is carried on by the intelligence I call Ego. This is the awareness that is attached to your body and particularly your brain. It evolved along with the brain and its function is self-preservation. Originally a set of genetically programmed reflexes, Ego developed in tandem with the increasing complexity of the human brain, and eventually acquired the capacity for abstract thought. At that point, Ego was able to conceive of itself as an entity separate from the body and its environment. As a result, Ego's original beneficial purpose to maintain and protect the body - the existence of the individual as a physical entity - took on the additional purpose of preserving Ego itself. It is no exaggeration to say that Ego now believes it is the body's function to serve and protect Ego, and not the other way around. Ego therefore seeks to dominate and control your awareness, and to exclude from it other intelligences, including the intelligence I refer to as the higher Self."

"Unfortunately, because of its roots in the primitive centers of the brain and nervous system, Ego also is the channel of negative emotions. Many of these - anger, fear, and related emotions - have their origins in the fight-or-flight survival reflex. As long as Ego dominates the awareness of the individual, these negative emotions will have an important role in behavior. They are useful to Ego's pursuit of control over awareness, since their natural self-preservation purpose requires them to supplant other mental functions while they are active. These negative emotions are a primary source of the disturbance you are experiencing. Because Ego sees itself as the center of the universe, it seeks to control not only the individual in which it resides, but all other individuals with which it comes in contact. Any resistance to that control by others (or by the egos of others) is interpreted as a threat, and generates fear, anger, and aggressive behavior."

"Not all emotional disturbance has its origin in Ego; some may arise from love and compassion, which originate in the higher Self. Compassion can be distinguished from the egoic emotions by its external focus (on the well-being of others rather than the ego itself) as well as by the fact it does not employ the fight-or-flight bodily reflex to dominate awareness."

"What is necessary to inner peace is for you to learn to step outside Ego and consider your life situations objectively from the perspective of the higher Self. What makes this difficult is that Ego is continuously striving to exclude the higher Self from access to your consciousness through its control over the negative emotions. However, if the higher Self is once able to assert itself, your consciousness will naturally be drawn to it because the higher Self is the source of peace, love and happiness. Tapping that source will enable you to discover a peaceful space in the core of your being that cannot be disturbed by external events. This will allow you to forsake Ego's obsession (and corresponding frustration) with controlling those externalities."

"The higher Self is the core of your being as an immortal Spirit, rather than a transient physical body. It is the kernel of God-stuff that manifests in your awareness. As a part of God, it is the extension of universal love into the space that you occupy. It is something that you do not create, but rather discover through meditation and prayer. It is the part of you that knows that it exists. It sits behind the sense-awareness and world-awareness of more superficial elements of your being, observing without judging; expressing compassion rather than disapproval. When you can choose to live the larger part of your life from this aspect of the Self, you will exist in a state of greater equanimity, free from the need to judge and create conflict in your surroundings. You can relegate Ego and the other aspects of your physical being to their proper function of maintaining your physical existence, while reserving to the higher Self control over interactions with other individuals and the Universe itself."

"The idea that happiness is entirely internal to each individual may seem strange, and Ego will reject it. Few are aware of this inner Source of peace, and fewer still are able to live continuously in the state of awareness with equanimity that it confers. The Source is opposed by the egoic mind, which survives by creating disturbance. Ego seeks to control individual awareness through the distractions it creates. By extension, Ego is driven to attempt to control both internal and external circumstances.It cannot exercise that control if your awareness arises from the Source of peace. It tries to absorb your attention by creating problems and then obsessing over finding solutions to the problems that it itself creates. From Ego's perspective, the best problem is one that cannot be solved. As long as you allow your attention to be diverted to the irrational task of solving the unsolvable, Ego is guaranteed to thrive, feeding off the disturbance in your awareness."

"It should be clear, therefore, that there is no such thing as a problem that is external to yourself. Problems are created and nourished by Ego out of its misguided sense of self-preservation. However, you may choose to found your existence on a peaceful core that is rooted in the loving Spirit of the universe. From that core emanates the peace that passes understanding, that can only be disturbed if you allow it to be. By becoming aware of this core of your being, and focusing your consciousness on it, you are enabled to act compassionately in the world to alleviate the suffering of others, without unnecessarily taking that suffering upon yourself."

"The way to develop awareness of the higher Self for most people is meditation. The breathing exercise you performed earlier is one form of meditation. By focusing all your attention on the breath, you were able to protect your center of awareness temporarily from the strident domination of ego. Other forms of meditation exist, but the key aspect of meditation that will allow your higher Self to emerge is the determination to keep your awareness peacefully focused on a neutral or positive object, turning aside all distractions. As the clouds of negativity are dispersed by this focus, the bright light of the higher Self can emerge. Once you have experienced the deep contentment of living from the source of peace, love, and happiness that is the higher Self, you will find yourself returning to it again and again. Eventually, you will develop the ability to see the world through its loving eyes, and the more you do so, the more you will choose to reject the negative lens that is ego."

"Finally, as you learn to perceive your life situations from the perspective of the higher Self, you will be able to act - or not act - out of compassion for the benefit of yourself and others, rather than out of ego's need to defend itself. With peace, love, and happiness as your base condition, you will find yourself reaching out to share these benefits with others in the way most suited to their well-being. You will be free of self-centered emotional disturbance, which may go a long way to a peaceful and harmonious resolution of any remaining negative aspects of the life situation, and in any case will bring you greater peace."

Wayne Dyer's "I Can See Clearly Now"

On a flight from Las Vegas to Chicago, I started reading Wayne Dyer’s latest book, "I Can See Clearly Now". I often don’t finish the books that I start, because it’s hard to set aside the uninterrupted time to do so.  Dr. Dyer is a great believer in synchronicity, and so am I. For that reason I believe that it is no coincidence that on this Southwest Airlines flight, the WiFi is not working. Instead of breaking out my work laptop to keep up with email traffic, I read through several chapters of this inspiring book. This happened just five days before I was to fly to Ft. Lauderdale to participate in a writing seminar led by Dr. Dyer, among others.

Unlike his other books, "I Can See Clearly Now" is autobiographical, a memoir crafted with hindsight applying a lifetime of learning to the events that made Dr. Dyer the author, teacher, and spiritual luminary that he is today. His theme is that anyone can become a “self-actualized” individual, one who reaches his or her highest potential in this life. He pays tribute to the many teachers who inspired his own personal growth, including Dr. Abraham Maslow, who coined the term “self-actualized”.  But Dr. Dyer also credits  his own highest self – the portion of himself that represents the source energy of universal Love – with guiding his personal dharma. Continuing the theme of his recent Living the Wisdom of the Tao, Dr. Dyer describes himself as one with the flow of energy that comprises all of time, and space, and spirit. In such a Universe, there can be no coincidence, for every moment that arises represents the synthesis of the intention of all that is.

The more I read of Dr. Dyer’s work, the more I find myself wanting to be like him. He describes himself as a teacher who wants everyone to learn and apply the principle at the core of his writings: that self-actualization is available to anyone who can become mindful of Love as the motivating principle of life, and learn to ignore the voice of ego.  I know this principle is authentic, because I recognize that the same truth has been revealed to me and embodied in Spontaneous Beauty. I cannot claim to have lived by this principle for as long or as faithfully as he, but I know that the same voice is speaking through us. We are spiritual brothers, or rather two manifestations of the same Spirit.

The question arises in my mind whether I should abandon my own quest to become a published author, and devote myself to publicizing the works of this great teacher. I do not believe that it is only ego that urges me to continue on my chosen path. There are other great teachers who have inspired me – from Buddha to Eckhart Tolle – and each has his or her own way of conveying the same message that my own individuality is merely an expression of the Divine Love that manifests as All That Is. Steeped as I am in traditional and New Age spirituality, I am always surprised to learn how few of the people I encounter in daily life have even heard of my human teachers or their teachings. There is always room for another teacher.

I am mindful also that the most effective teaching is not in books. Dr. Dyer was a classroom teacher and public speaker before he became a popular author.  My own way of teaching is to try to live a life as free of ego as possible, to demonstrate to everyone around me that a life motivated by Love is not only possible, but the most fulfilling life there can be. I also want to show that it is quite possible to live a successful ordinary life in the world without succumbing to the  influence of the ego by focusing only on the demands of the small self.

So, I will continue living in Spirit to the best of my ability, with the guidance received through the higher Self in meditation as my support. If Spirit wills it, I will author another book, and I believe it will offer a fresh perspective on discovering the joy that lies just under the surface of our consciousness, obscured only by ego and its incessant demands. The message is so simple that it can be presented in one sentence, yet there are so few who have heard it, and fewer who have listened, that volumes can be (and have been)  written about what it means and how to apply it to daily life. I will be content if I can spread that message just a little wider in this ego-dominated world.

***

I finished "I Can See Clearly Now" on the plane to Ft. Lauderdale. Here is a man who has lived an astonishing life by learning from the great teachers, but following only his inner guidance. As I read his final words, a thought came to me that I have been wanting to put into words for a long time.

"There is just one all-encompassing Truth, and it cannot be taught. All that we can do is to tell what we know, and those who hear and are ready will recognize it. They in turn may be moved to share it with others. In this way may Truth ultimately come to all beings."

As Dr. Dyer tells of his japa practice, I am moved to perform my own by chanting:

"Aum mane padme hum"

"Aum eim hrim shrim klim sah sat chit ekam Brahma"

Namaste

Thinking about violence

I recently came across this quotation from the Buddha:

"Whatever a monk keeps pursuing with his thinking and pondering, that becomes the inclination of his awareness. If a monk keeps pursuing thinking imbued with sensuality, abandoning thinking imbued with renunciation, his mind is bent by that thinking imbued with sensuality. If a monk keeps pursuing thinking imbued with ill will, abandoning thinking imbued with non-ill will, his mind is bent by that thinking imbued with ill will. If a monk keeps pursuing thinking imbued with harmfulness, abandoning thinking imbued with harmlessness, his mind is bent by that thinking imbued with harmfulness."

In other words, thinking negative or unwholesome thoughts of any kind has the effect of inclining your future thoughts in the direction of that kind of unwholesomeness or negativity. This should not be a surprise to us, because the mind, like the body, has a tendency to follow the "groove" left by  experience. 

 This is a reason that I am concerned with young people (or anyone) watching violent movies and television, playing violent video games, or for that matter watching TV news about real-world violence. The more we integrate violence into our daily experience, the more we will come to regard it as natural and, in some sense, acceptable. I believe this is particularly true about games and movies in which the individual is intended to identify with the violent protagonist. Because such "entertainment" appeals to the ego - which thrives on pain and destruction - it is very difficult to persuade people of the harm it can cause. Ego will cause one to shrug off this concern, with such comments as "Oh, it's just a game" or "I know the difference between fantasy and reality". Yet beneath the surface, the violent experience is working its way into the viewer's subconscious, wearing a groove that will influence that person's future attitudes and behavior. 

Even popular comedy has its violent aspects. Most of the comedy shows on television today rely on belittling or humiliating their characters to garner a laugh from the audience. This may be even more dangerous than violent drama, because these programs supposedly reflect everyday interpersonal relationships. While this is not new - ego has used comic techniques of sarcasm and humiliation to promote itself at the expense of others for thousands of years - there seems to be a sharper edge to the contemporary genre. When I can't get through a popular show without repeatedly cringing at the psychological violence the characters inflict on each other, I worry even more about the harmful effect on society if this is presented as an acceptable form of social interaction.

I don't advocate banning these or any other forms of entertainment. But I do encourage individuals, and parents on behalf of their children, to be mindful of the amount of physical and emotional violence they are exposed to, and to take steps to minimize the damage. Steps may include limiting the exposure; openly discussing whether the behavior depicted on screen is acceptable or desirable; engaging in non-violent forms of entertainment; meditation on nonviolence; and, perhaps best of all, seeking out opportunities to have real-life experiences of compassionate and loving behavior, such as volunteering.

Thoughts on the passing of a friend

Whenever someone we know leaves this life, we feel grief. It is difficult to remember at such times that passing is a natural step in our existence as immortal spiritual beings. The human part of us, the body-centered ego, clings to this existence as if it were the only existence we will ever have. Because it cannot see beyond the point at which we separate ourselves from the physical body, it fears death and mourns the loss of others who have passed on as if they had completely ceased to exist.

Poets and seers may describe physical death as discarding a worn garment, but that metaphor is not always helpful to those of us left behind who struggle to accept the immediacy of the inevitable. We know that life is temporary, yet we submerge that knowledge in the busyness of daily existence. Aware in our moments of full consciousness that change is constant - that everything changes in every instant - we nevertheless attach our happiness, our hopes, our very sense of self to people and things as if they will be with us unchanged forever. When faced with the rupture of these attachments, we feel as if a part of ourselves has been ripped away.

There is a risk that we may succumb to ego's inevitable attempts to take advantage of our pain for its own purposes. Ego will do what it can to magnify that pain by trying to focus our attention on suffering and loss. It will raise questions about how we will survive without the love, comfort, and security that the physical presence of a loved one provided. It will dwell on the past and make dire predictions for the future in order to increase our suffering in the present.

There is no way to escape feeling the pain of separation, and it would be a mistake to try to do so. (My sister-in-law, Ann Dubes, has written a book entitled "Give Yourself Permission to Grieve".) Denying the pain simply buries it under layers of emotional scar tissue that will eventually need to be dealt with before the wound can fully heal. But we must be mindful also that ego will try to leverage our grief into an obsession. It is not necessary to fight back against this attack; it is enough to be aware that it will come, and that it is not truly a part of our higher self. That mindfulness will enable us to brush ego aside as we deal with the genuine damage that has been done to our world.

When the immediate shock of loss has passed, the opportunity for reflection may arise. The passing of a friend or loved one is a reminder that we, too, will be on this Earth in this form for only a limited time. Other reminders of this same truth surround us - at least those of us who look into a mirror from time to time - but it is in our human nature to ignore this aspect of reality until the departure of a beloved soul provides a slap in the face. At this time, we may ponder the meaning of life; examine the uses we are making of our own window of opportunity as spiritual beings sharing a physical existence; or prepare ourselves emotionally and spiritually for our own passing to come. 

Eventually, perhaps with the aid of study and meditation, we may take comfort in the realization that physical death is a transition rather than a termination. The Universe is an infinite, living, energetic tapestry extending throughout time and space. What we perceive as our separate existence is just a thread woven into that tapestry; now visible, now submerged, but continuous and never-ending. We cross the threads of others' existence again and again within the fabric of the whole. Whomever we meet in the here and now, is also with us in an infinite number of other heres and nows within the infinite Now. 

Our highest purpose is not to cling to what we currently perceive as our place in the tapestry, but to be aware of and participate in the flow of Life that is the energetic whole. When we are aware that all of us - all fragments of existence throughout all dimensions - are perpetually engaged in the process of creating a harmonious, loving Universe, then we can accept our part in that harmony. Acceptance can help bring full awareness of our continuous Oneness with all other souls, and of the continuity of our own Selves through the transitions that connect us to other states of being through eternity. In this awareness, we can find peace.

Read more:

• Transition
• Impermanence
• Knowledge of Immortality
• You Will Call, I Will Answer
• Thinking About Immortality

This is the thanks I get?

We set ourselves up for needless suffering if we expect gratitude for our good deeds, or if we insist that those who benefit from our actions "deserve" what they receive.  Those expectations are far out of tune with the Universe.

First, both require us to judge others, which we are not qualified to do.  They also evidence an attachment to what "ought" to happen, which prevents us from living in the world and experiencing reality. Both are small-self reactions, the reactions of the small self in us to the behavior of the small self in others.

True generosity proceeds from the higher Self and seeks no reward for sharing material or spiritual gifts.  The higher Self in me is not different from the higher Self in another, even if that other is completely unaware of the existence of the higher Self and its bond with the Universe.  The higher Self acts out of Universal love, attuning itself to the frequency of the vibration that pervades all of Creation and the Uncreated. This benefits the higher Self in me as much as in others.  As we manifest that vibration in unselfish loving acts, we inevitably bring greater harmony to our surroundings on a soul level, even if that harmony is not immediately reflected in the actions of those around us.

Divine Healing

Divine healing does not require elaborate rituals, esoteric oils or crystals, or intense effort. Have you read any stories of Jesus, Buddha, or another holy person working himself into a frenzy or to exhaustion in order to manifest healing? On the contrary, healing manifests spontaneously in the presence of divine connection. All that it requires is openness and surrender to Source. No shaman or practitioner can induce healing without that connection. This is because healing is the work of Source energy, not something that is produced within the body or mind of the individual healer. The only effort - if it can be called that - required of him or her is to become and remain aware of Oneness with Source and its omnipresent perfection. Healing will then radiate from him or her like the warmth and light of the sun. 

Source itself does not expend energy, because all the energy of the Universe belongs to and remains within Source. Source merely manifests continual perfection, in which we humans share to the extent we maintain connection to it. 

Science of Mind, as established by Ernest Holmes and practiced by the Centers for Spiritual Living, provides one of the purest examples of this simple approach to manifesting healing (among other things). Called Spiritual Mind Treatment or Affirmative Prayer, this practice is described on the Science of Mind Magazine website  as follows:

Science of Mind uses a five-step affirmative prayer called spiritual mind treatment. The five steps are:
1. Recognition—know that God is all there is.
2. Unification—know that you are one with God.
3. Declaration—state your word for the circumstance you want to manifest.
4. Thanksgiving—give thanks for your word being acted upon by the Law of mind.
5. Release—“And so it is!”
There is no beseeching to or urge to compel an outside entity in spiritual mind treatment.  As Ernest Holmes states in The Science of Mind:

"Effective mental treatment is propelled by a consciousness of love and a realization that the Creative spirit is always at work....A treatment should be given in a calm, expectant manner and with a deep inner conviction of its reality, without any fear or any sense that the human mind must make it effective. The work is effective because the Law is always in operation."