Thoughts on revenge

The Teacher said:

The impulse to revenge and striking back is so ingrained in us, that it's hard to believe that it is possible to exist without it. The only way to do so is to be the change you want to see in the world -- practice mindfulness and compassionate connection at all times and in all situations. As humans we will always be at risk of sliding back into the revenge reflex, but if we are aware of what we are thinking and doing, and of what we want to think and do, we have the best chance of sticking to our principles.

The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz are excellent guidelines for life. They are:

Be impeccable with your word.

Don't take anything personally.

Don't make assumptions.

Always do your best.

These principles don't leave much room for revenge!

Nevertheless, it's very hard to avoid the knee jerk reaction to strike back when someone hurts us. All we can do is try, and practice, and be confident that we will get better at it over time. Mindfulness is more important than good intentions here. As long as you observe your reactions and take advantage -- when you can -- of that instant between stimulus and response to decide how you are going to react, then you will eventually be able to choose all your reactions.

Finally -- never judge yourself. You know you are doing your best.

A student said,

I believe this to be inherently false. When you have been harmed by someone physically or emotionally, it absolutely does ease your own pain to strike them back.

The Teacher replied,

In my experience, inflicting pain on another does nothing to ease any pain I may be feeling, but instead makes me feel worse. It is possible that for some the mind can be temporarily distracted from its own suffering by projecting it upon others, but the only way suffering can be permanently relieved is by removing it from one's Universe altogether, through forgiveness and compassion. This truth is as inflexible as anything found in physics. Anything else is delusion.

You won't understand what I am saying until you have had the experience yourself, and then no explanation will be necessary. You will know the difference between the hollow temporary distraction of taking revenge and the fulfilling peace that comes from forgiveness.