Change your thinking, change your life

One of the most often repeated sayings in the New Thought movement is, "Change your thinking, change your life." Often this is said in explaining the Law of Attraction. It is also a fundamental principle of Religious Science as taught by Ernest Holmes. It has been said that if you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten. The same is true of thoughts -- if you keep thinking the same way you always have, then your life will continue along the same track it has always taken.

If you have been plagued by negative thinking for a long time, it is very difficult to change. It's also difficult to internalize the understanding that negative thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy. A person who always expects the worst is likely to get it. When he does, he is likely to see the outcome as validating his expectations, when in fact it was his expectations that created the outcome. If he can find a way to break this vicious circle for once, and give up his negative outlook even temporarily, he may learn the truth that what you put into the Universe is what you get out of it.

How can someone who has never experienced positive outcomes adopt a positive outlook? The first thing to do is to examine what you consider a positive outcome. Are you a glass-half-full or a glass-half-empty person? If you are always looking for something to complain about, you are always going to find it. On the other hand, if you are always looking for something to be thankful for, you will also find that. So even without changing a thing in the "outside" world, you can change the amount of enjoyment you get out of life by changing your focus.

There are a few things you can do to help with this change. First, you can consciously affirm the presence of good in your life. Make a mental inventory of things you are (or should be!) grateful for -- in other words, count your blessings. Be generous in this exercise. Don't let the words "but" or "except" creep into your thinking about the good things in your life. Just look on the bright side for once -- you've already given the dark side too much of your attention for too long! Later, when you are ready for more advanced techniques, you will affirm the good that is not yet tangible but nevertheless is just around the next corner.

Second, start watching your thoughts. Don't try to suppress any negative thoughts that come to you; just try not to react to them at all. Detach yourself from them and allow them to fade and vanish. Without your attention, they will. Become aware of how often you think about past unhappy events, compared to how often you enjoy happy memories. Be aware of the attention you are giving to the unpleasant aspects of experiences you are having today, right now, and of how many opportunities for even a moment's pleasure or happiness you are passing up. Notice how often you have gloomy thoughts about the future, and how often you generate positive expectations. Don't react or try to force your mind into a different way of thinking; just observe.

Once you have gotten into the habit of watching your thoughts, then try to discern where the negative ones are coming from. Is there a place in you that always seems to see clouds where there could be sunshine? Focus on this place for a time, not in such a way as to encourage or develop it, but simply to see how it operates. Knowledge is power, and knowledge of yourself is power over your Universe. Look also for the parts in you that seem to generate mostly positive thoughts and feelings. Why aren't they getting the same attention as the others? Shine the light of your love on these fertile fields, and count the beautiful flowers that spring into view. The things to which you give your attention are those that will flourish in your life.

There really is no such thing as a dark force. There is only love and the absence of love. You don't have a demon inside you making you think negative thoughts; you just have some places that haven't been exposed to the sunshine enough. There are places within us where we store pain. Disappointments, losses, abuse and mistreatment hurt us, and most of us have tucked away the pain from those events in various nooks and crannies of our psyches or our anatomies. When you have a negative expectation, ask yourself why, then observe the thoughts that come up from your subconscious. They may seem to be random, disconnected ideas, but noticing them may give you some clues to the buried pain tangled up in those sore muscles and that wounded ego. The more you learn about yourself, the easier it will be to release that hidden pain and free yourself from the pall it is casting over your life.

Once you feel you have gotten a handle on what is going on inside you, then it is time to start gently shaping your world by shaping your thoughts. When you have a positive thought, encourage it; turn it over in your mind, enjoy it, watch it develop and grow into a bright spot of happiness. When you see a negative thought coming, allow it to move right past. Don't try to shove it back down where it came from; that will just prolong the process of ridding yourself of those unwanted ideas and feelings. Just don't give it your attention and it will wither to dust and blow away.

While you are doing all this inner work, try to do the same with the world around you. Greet every person you meet with warmth and love. Look for things to be glad about, and shrug off those less-desirable things you would have obsessed about before you began this self-rescuing program. Above all, don't take on any new pains that you can avoid. If friends are in trouble or in pain, offer them sympathy but don't allow yourself to take on their suffering. That is their karma to work out, not yours; you have plenty of your own. On the other hand, share your own happiness with others, and allow them to share theirs with you. You'll find that happiness is not diluted but is multiplied by being shared. It's well known that changing your behavior can change your attitudes. Changing your outward interaction with the world will help you change yourself inwardly as well.

There's so much more to be said that hundreds of books have been written on the subject. If you'd like some recommendations, write me and tell me your story. I'd love to hear from you.

Namaste