Love and Acceptance

In our hearts, we all desire love and acceptance more than anything else, and therefore it seems the most natural thing in the world would be for all of us to love and accept each other all the time. So why is true unconditional love so rarely seen?

Sometimes we are separated by fear or distrust. We know and trust our own motivations, but how can we read the mind of another person to know whether he or she will return our love, rather than seeking to take something from us? Who should love first?

We are afraid someone may "take advantage" of us. Yet how can that be so long as we first love ourselves unconditionally? Self-love is not selfish, and it is not sinful. It is in fact a commandment from God. Jesus taught that we should love others as we love ourselves -- not more than we love ourselves, but just as much. Yet he also taught us to love others deeply and unconditionally. He was telling us to have the same complete and unqualified love for ourselves.

If we follow this commandment and love ourselves unconditionally, then there is really no risk in loving others. Our self-esteem will not be dependent upon how others feel about us. If you extend a loving hand to a brother or sister in Spirit and it is refused, should you be hurt? No, because you know what a precious child of God that you are. The rejection does not mean your love is undesirable or that you are unlovable, but only that the other person is not in a position to accept love from you at this time. You can leave the door open for him or her to return seeking your love and acceptance at another time, without any risk of damage to your own love of yourself.

Another important fear about relationships is the fear of loss. We may hesitate to give anything of ourselves to another person out of fear that he or she will leave us and there will be a hole in our existence that cannot be filled. This causes us to cling to the relationships that we have, as well as to resist entering into new ones. This fear also is totally derived from doubts about our own worth. If you love yourself fully and unconditionally, nothing another person does can shake that love. Therefore, you are free to open yourself to another knowing that if he or she later needs to withdraw for a time, you will remain perfectly whole.

One way to minimize the fear in relationships is to be open, trusting, and accepting of literally everyone. You may find, as a particular relationship develops, that there must be limitations on these attributes; but each should be approached initially in a way that demonstrates the total absence of fear or doubt. If that is your standard practice, then people will be able to see their perfection mirrored in your own, and will be eager to enter into the same kind of relationship with you.

Argue

The Teacher said, "Argue against these principles. Bring forth every argument you can, and do not cease arguing until your arguments have exhausted themselves. Then you will see the principles still standing before you pristine and untarnished, as shining emblems of eternal Truth."

Pain is not real

Intellectually, I am aware that pain is not real. The body is a manifestation of God's perfection, and God cannot create pain. Nevertheless, as long as we believe in pain, it exists for us, and we will be burdened with its apparent reality.

I mention this because my physical age and condition are such that aches and pains appear to be real with increasing frequency. However, I made an interesting observation today.

I woke up feeling soreness in my lower back. I pampered it as I started my morning, holding myself stiffly so that I would not move the affected muscles more than necessary. Then I got more involved in my daily activity, specifically washing dishes and making breakfast. I noticed that when I focused on one of those activities, I did not notice the ache in my back. Once a task was finished, my attention would return to the pain and I would feel it again.

The thought came to me that pain is only a bodily sensation. One realization that followed this observation was that I did not identify my self with my body. The pain affected my body, but it did not affect me.

The second realization I had was that, since the pain is not part of me, there is no need for me to be concerned with it. If I focus my attention elsewhere, I should not notice the pain, and if I do not notice it, the pain does not exist. Pain is not something that is real independent of the body which experiences it. To the extent I can -- as I have been trying to do anyway -- concentrate on the Christ spirit within me rather than on its physical manifestation in the body, I should be unaffected by pain.

I hope that this will help me understand Joel Goldsmith's teachings better.

Namaste.

God is everything

There is nothing that is real that is not God. You and I are manifestations of God's creative force. Because God is perfect, you and I are perfect. There is nothing that is real that is not perfect. If we can fully grasp this truth, then everything is possible.

Allow yourself to experience darkness

If you have not known the darkness, how can you lead others through it?

Right Action

Every time you do the right thing makes the next time easier.

Thoughts on revenge

The Teacher said:

The impulse to revenge and striking back is so ingrained in us, that it's hard to believe that it is possible to exist without it. The only way to do so is to be the change you want to see in the world -- practice mindfulness and compassionate connection at all times and in all situations. As humans we will always be at risk of sliding back into the revenge reflex, but if we are aware of what we are thinking and doing, and of what we want to think and do, we have the best chance of sticking to our principles.

The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz are excellent guidelines for life. They are:

Be impeccable with your word.

Don't take anything personally.

Don't make assumptions.

Always do your best.

These principles don't leave much room for revenge!

Nevertheless, it's very hard to avoid the knee jerk reaction to strike back when someone hurts us. All we can do is try, and practice, and be confident that we will get better at it over time. Mindfulness is more important than good intentions here. As long as you observe your reactions and take advantage -- when you can -- of that instant between stimulus and response to decide how you are going to react, then you will eventually be able to choose all your reactions.

Finally -- never judge yourself. You know you are doing your best.

A student said,

I believe this to be inherently false. When you have been harmed by someone physically or emotionally, it absolutely does ease your own pain to strike them back.

The Teacher replied,

In my experience, inflicting pain on another does nothing to ease any pain I may be feeling, but instead makes me feel worse. It is possible that for some the mind can be temporarily distracted from its own suffering by projecting it upon others, but the only way suffering can be permanently relieved is by removing it from one's Universe altogether, through forgiveness and compassion. This truth is as inflexible as anything found in physics. Anything else is delusion.

You won't understand what I am saying until you have had the experience yourself, and then no explanation will be necessary. You will know the difference between the hollow temporary distraction of taking revenge and the fulfilling peace that comes from forgiveness.